Love, Lust, & Lessons
For all the men: whether loved, loathed, lost, or now lonely.
Personal stories and reflections on desire, dating, intimacy, heartbreak, and emotional growth—honest insights into love, sex, and what they teach us.
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Sound the Hounds: The Lead Bitch is Back
One innocuous post, and sound the hounds. Heartbroken, emotionally anesthetized, and suddenly surrounded by attention, I find myself observing the peculiar rituals of sex, affection, and modern dating from a distance. Perhaps heartbreak has a scent. Perhaps the lead bitch simply needed reminding of her place in the pack. Continue reading
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The Religion of Us
Some loves are written in flesh; others feel written in the stars. An intoxicating meditation on desire, devotion, surrender, and the delicious suspicion that some souls have met before. Continue reading
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A Spoonful of Sugar: The First Inoculation
What begins as a poem born from guilt becomes an unexpected lesson in love, healing, and surrender. Between a spoonful of sugar, a first inoculation, and William Blake’s poisonous tree, I begin to wonder whether the shadow was ever truly the enemy—or whether we are the ones poisoning the people we are capable of becoming. Continue reading
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The Man on My Mind
Some souls collide but were never meant to stay. The Man on My Mind is a story of literature, boxing, grief, desire, and the painful truth that you cannot force your heart to choose someone. Continue reading
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Past the Point of No Return
Somewhere between fantasy and reality, passion and safety, something shifted. I went to New Jersey wondering what I felt for Big Spender and returned irrevocably changed. Perhaps The Phantom of the Opera had been playing in my head for a reason. Without realizing it, I had crossed a threshold—and suddenly, there were no backward glances. Continue reading
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I Want to Burn
What changes a weekend can make. Somewhere between desire and something deeper, I find myself standing on the precipice of falling in love—drawn toward the flame, fully aware of the danger, and wanting to burn anyway. Continue reading
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All the World’s a Stage, And All the Men and Women Merely Players
What happens when the Universe hands you two compelling men, two wildly different futures, and absolutely no indication of which path to take? A wedding weekend, an unexpected rival, a near-disastrous leap from a balcony, and one inconvenient change of heart force me to consider a radical possibility: perhaps I do not have to choose… Continue reading
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What Ayahuasca Taught Me About Loving You
After traveling alone to Brazil for an ayahuasca ceremony deep in the jungle, I expected spiritual awakening, visions, perhaps even healing. What I did not expect was to confront the devastating truth about the man I had spent years hopelessly loving — or the role I had played in my own suffering. Through psychedelic revelations,… Continue reading
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Forbidden Fruit | On Temptation, Desire, and Dangerous Chemistry
I’m talking to a man my mother might slap me over. I’ve known him for a few years peripherally, but he’s the friend of a former paramour who would disown me if he ever found out… Continue reading
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Blood Red Neon
The thought did not arrive as a scream. It came as a sentence. Clean. Decisive. Illuminated in blood red across the inside of my skull: He doesn’t care whether I am alive or dead. It pulsed there, steady and merciless, like neon against wet brick. Continue reading
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Dr. 50 Shades – The Gentleman with a Glint of Daring – Or Danger – in His Eyes
He was charm wrapped in control—sweet enough to disarm, dangerous enough to thrill. Between bourbon, banter, and a glimpse of dominance, I realized some men don’t just test your limits—they make you curious where they are. Continue reading
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Mr. Unexpected – Speed, Seduction, and the Art of Losing Control
He came out of nowhere—fast, sharp, impossible to ignore. Between speed, banter, and the thrill of letting go, I realized too late this wasn’t just flirtation. It was the dangerous kind of desire that makes you smile as you cross the line anyway. Continue reading
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Anatole VI: Don’t Let the Devil Fool You
The illusion didn’t shatter all at once—it cracked under the weight of disrespect I could no longer excuse. Wanting him was never the mistake. Believing he respected me was. This is where discernment replaced desire, and I chose not to be fooled again. Continue reading
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Anatole V: Resist the Devil, and He Will Flee From You
Wanting him was never the problem. Losing myself was. This is the moment I chose restraint over longing—bowing out not because the desire faded, but because I finally respected myself more than the pull of temptation. Continue reading
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Anatole IV: Speak of the Devil and He Doth Appear
He disappears just long enough to make desire ache, then returns to pull me back into his orbit. Knowing better doesn’t quiet the wanting—it sharpens it. And sometimes, the most dangerous part isn’t the devil himself, but how willingly you step back into the dance. Continue reading
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When You Know Better, But Want It So Bad
Have you ever wanted something so deeply it burned beneath your skin? This piece explores the electric tension between desire and discipline — the ache of wanting what you know you shouldn’t. A visceral meditation on temptation, self-restraint, and the sweet torment of waiting for what isn’t yours. Continue reading
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Anatole III: It Feels Like Heaven to Flirt With Hell
What began as seduction deepened into something more dangerous—desire tangled with secrecy, power, and moral compromise. It felt intoxicating to flirt with hell, even as clarity crept in, whispering that pleasure and consequence are rarely as separate as we pretend. Continue reading
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Anatole II: And Lead Us Not Into Temptation
He didn’t ask—he decided. With charm, momentum, and a confidence that felt intoxicating, he pulled me willingly toward temptation. I knew he would be trouble. I also knew I wouldn’t resist—and that realization thrilled me more than it should have. Continue reading
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Anatole I: First Encounter with the Handsome, Silver-Tongued Devil
He arrived like a spark on a detonation cord—fast, confident, impossible to ignore. Fifteen minutes was all he offered, yet he left me charged with questions about charm, control, and the dangerous allure of a man who never asks, only decides. Continue reading
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When Should You File a Resaining Order? Warning Signs of Stalking and Harassment
Stalking is one of the most dangerous crimes too often dismissed until it’s too late. Through my own experience battling harassment, threats, and indifference from law enforcement, I learned that silence protects the predator. This is my story and my plea: don’t wait—stand up, document, and protect yourself. Continue reading
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Why We Want What We Can’t Have: A Love Letter to the Impossible
We always want what we can’t have—maybe because it challenges us, validates us, or mirrors something we’ve been missing all our lives. This is the story of the one man I was told I couldn’t be with, and how his presence unraveled layers of healing, longing, and self-discovery I didn’t know I was brave enough… Continue reading