I’ve recently started dating again. I’ve been single for the last 4 years after my ex pulled a number on me. I was hesitant because I didn’t trust myself; I didn’t know if I would just drug myself with another man, and not to mention my judge of character was proven to be severely suspect at this point. When I was ready, I decided to try a few social media dating apps because I had only met 2 men in the past 4 years who genuinely intrigued me, so I figured, play the odds. From my brief brush with dating, one resounding law emerged: a woman can order and have a man delivered now faster than a pizza.
The Death of Courtship
It’s so interesting looking at how the world of dating has changed. When you consider the current generation of Millennial and Generation Z men, there are no more real men. Courting has become an archaic practice, another vestigial structure if you will, in which evolution has made its basic premise practically primitive. Courting is now acknowledged as a man texting you at random moments throughout the day telling you how sexy you look in one of your photos as he stalks your Instagram and pesters you for more that are “just for him,” while simultaneously dividing said attention amongst the 5 other women he’s “calling on,” and of course not to mention his wife.
To sideline, when did the men become the women and vice versa? Men have become so needy. God forbid I have to work and don’t look at my phone for a few hours. Even worse, trying to find an intelligent Alpha has become the unicorn.
The Pornographic Model of Romance
I’m honestly not shaming it, but why would a man pursue anything when he’s getting nudes thrown at him like a hockey goalie in practice with just the slightest expression of interest? And then, men don’t even have to take the initiative to escort the woman to a proper dinner anymore. Now, it’s custom for a man to take a woman out for a drink after the dinner hour to gauge whether she’s worthy of an actual date (smart move—the men are finally catching on…).
And even then, there’s always the men who still try to spit a good enough excuse to come up to your apartment the first night even though you’ve given no indication of reciprocating that desire. Not saying that antiquated societal dictation should hold any merit what-so-ever, but if a woman is interested in fucking a man, the signs won’t be sent via smoke signal. If a woman wants you, you’ll know it. If it’s not clear, go the fuck home. This is not How I Met Your Mother and The Naked Man is a seriously punishable offense.
The Audacity of Entitlement
Worse is the implication of the whole scenario. If a woman doesn’t invite you, don’t squirm your way in. If there isn’t intensity in an elevator like for Anna Steele and Christian Grey, you should just take a knee and let the clock run out. You lost that night, take it like a man, and walk off the field with your head held high.
Furthermore, once again if she is not wantonly inviting you to ravish her, your offensive attack can be interpreted as aggressive. Worse case scenario, you actually get blatantly annoyed or angry even. You’re pissed because you bought her a drink, dinner, a Raven’s Game ticket, some shiny object. You can’t comprehend how after all your peacocking that she’s not already spread eagle on the floor for you. Newsflash: The irony is that your pittance is not only an insult to her character, it’s an insult to the value she possesses. Even cheap whores are making $300 an hour and I’m sure the lady you’re pursuing is more than you could ever afford.
What Makes a Real Man
Would you like to know what I consider a real man? A man who knocks on the door with an umbrella in hand when it’s raining—shout out to NASCAR for my first exposure to this. A man who opens the car door for the lady. A man who gives a lady his sweater when she’s cold because she dressed to impress versus dressing practical. A hardworking man of integrity and chivalry. A man who gets his hands dirty. Though most of those old chivalrous acts aren’t necessary, what’s important and appreciated is a man showing the effort to want to treat the woman he’s trying to court with respect and like the lady she is.
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